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Why do depressed people prefer actions that reinforce their depression (listening to sad music, staying alone in a dark room)?
Scott Alexander believes that it has to do with "set points" (in the same way that anorexics continue to perform non-voluntary actions that burn extra calories like extra fidgeting). He believes the body will adjust the emotional "set point" to this depressed state and fight to maintain it. This is part of why behavioral activation, opposite action, and CBT are most effective for depression.
A few years ago I gathered the scraps of quotes, poems and inspirational bits and bobs I had floating about in various notebooks and cubby holes and decided to plonk them all in one place for easy reference, create my own Bible, something I could go to for inspiration and guidance and succour. There are poems, quotes from spiritual leaders like Thich Nhat Hann, things I heard on podcasts or movies, excerpts from novels, and even a few Tweets.
Whenever I read or hear something that makes me sit up, open my eyes a little wider, slow down and think, “this is important, I need to remember this”, I pop it in my green-covered notebook, knowing future me would want to feel that same tingle and joy again and again.
Consider writing your own holy book, or unholy book, your choice.
On dealing with stress:
Viliam
Writes Kittenlord’s Java Game Examples
Oct 25
There are stressful things that cannot be avoided, and there are also stressful things that can be avoided. On the other side of the equation, there are things that reduce stress; some of them are harmless, other some with bad side effects.
The general strategy is to eliminate the unnecessary sources of stress, and only do the harmless things that reduce your stress, but do them a lot. Hopefully the overall result would be that you can deal with whatever stress remains.
A lot of stress is caused by specific people. Some people just love drama; they will create a conflict even in a situation where anyone else would just relax and enjoy a beautiful day. Some people are assholes; they reduce their own stress by stressing out others. If possible, avoid them. If not possible, try to reduce your time spent with them, and stop thinking about them when you don't have to (unless you are calmly strategizing how to further reduce your contact with them).
On the other hand, there are people who are great at making you relax, or great at helping you. (These might be two different types of people.) Try spending more time with them; maybe do something nice for them in return.
Some people do not realize that they can be strategic about who they spend their free time with. For example, instead of picking up a phone and calling other people, they wait until someone calls them. Problem is, sometimes it is the wrong people who call you all the time; you could call the right ones instead.
The same is true about internet debates. Some places are just horrible, and the winning move is not to visit them. Even in a relatively nice place such as ACX sometimes bad things happen. You need to realize that "not responding" is a perfectly valid option, and often the right one.
For me, the stress-relieving human interactions typically happen offline. There is something nice about being fully in the moment, instead of having 20 browser tabs open. Another activity that works for me is taking a walk alone.
Some stress is caused by things other than people. In such case, try asking a friend for help. Or just talk about it, any someone may offer a useful advice. Sometimes there are people able and willing to help you, they just do not know that you have this problem.
Avoid addictive things. If you start fighting stress by taking drugs, overeating, or debating online, there is more stress coming in the future as a consequence of your actions. (Nothing wrong with browsing the web once in a while, or eating once in a while, per se. Problem is, if you do it as a way to cope with stress, so you increase the dosage when the stress increases.)
Don't panic. If you can't fix the big things, at least try fixing the smaller ones. (Do the dishes. Clean up your room.) It might help build you the right attitude.
Sometimes the stress is caused by stupid ideas of other people. Maybe you worry a lot about achieving something you actually do not care about, only because someone else told you that you should. (Problem is, this is sometimes difficult to distinguish from a genuinely good advice.) Sometimes, abandoning the whole idea is the right option.
There is a checklist "HALT: hungry, angry, lonely, tired". If you feel bad, check if you are not in one of these conditions; if you are, address it directly. (Take a healthy snack. Breathe deeply. Call a friend. Take a nap.)
a commonly held set of beliefs in young Americans:
- A God exists who created and ordered the world and watches over human life on earth.
- God wants people to be good, nice, and fair to each other, as taught in the Bible and by most world religions.
- The central goal of life is to be happy and to feel good about oneself.
- God does not need to be particularly involved in one's life except when God is needed to resolve a problem.
- Good people go to heaven when they die.
- "moralistic" because it teaches that the goal is to be a moral person rather than to follow divine tenets
- "therapeutic deism" because the God is distant and only intervenes when needed to solve a problem
therapeutic usefulness of religion vs orthodox christianity
Link seems to fail if coming from shaarli?
A mix of the emotional attachment to images, the difficulty of clearing exes from a Facebook account, and some access control problems. The author concludes by saying that companies should offer better ways to manage that - but I can't imagine how to implement such things.